Christian-opoly

"I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly." – Steven Wright


Spend any time in the business world, and you’ll discover that Monopoly is more than just a game that families play when the power goes out. It’s real life.

No matter how big or small, nearly every company wants to totally and completely dominate their respective marketplace. If given the option, each would gladly clear the playing field and become the one and only option for a specific product or service.

It would make life easy. Wouldn’t it?

Maybe for awhile. But, ultimately, no.

Quite simply, lack of competition breeds laziness. And, eventually, laziness breeds disaster.

Absent of competition, CEO’s don’t watch the bottom line as closely. Designers don’t create unique or innovative products as often. Marketers don’t try as hard to spread the word. Salespeople don’t learn how to convince potential clients that their product is the best. Customers don’t feel passionately about the brand.

“So what?”

“I don’t run a business.”

“This doesn’t apply to me.”

Actually, if you consider yourself a person of faith – it does.

For years in America, Christianity held a monopoly in the so-called “religious marketplace”. Either you went to First Baptist…or you didn’t go to church at all. You sang three hymns, passed the plate and listened to a 30 minute message…or you slept in, mowed the lawn and watched football.

There were few options. Christians knew it. And we got lazy.

Growing up, Cheerios and Wheaties had pretty much cornered the cereal market. But have you been to the grocery store lately? There are literally hundreds of options. Each brightly colored box promising to improve your heart, give you energy, help your digestive system, and (of course) taste great.

To be honest, that’s how religion looks to most people these days.

Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, Kabbalah, Buddhism, Mormanism and Christianity are just brightly colored boxes, promising all sorts of amazing stuff. An afterlife. Someone or something to pray to. A belief in something bigger than yourself.

To your average 'faith-shopper', they look pretty much the same.

So, let me ask you, what would make your neighbors, friends or co-workers choose your box?

Choose your faith?

Choose your Jesus?

The ‘Christian-opoly’ may be over. But, with a some creativity and a renewed energy to stand up for our values and beliefs, Christianity doesn't have to be.

Are you up to it?

God Was a First Time Parent Too (Sort Of)

Have you ever thought of God as being a first time parent? He was. Sure, He was all-knowing, and all-powerful (which had to help)...but back on day six, He was still a first time parent. And, now that I'm a parent too, I'm seeing more and more similarities in our stories.

When God created Adam and Eve, He placed them in the Garden of Eden. Their very own utopia. A land that He created just for them. It was the most perfect place on Earth...with flowing rivers, flowering vegetation and beautiful animals.

When my son Jeremiah was born, Heather and I brought him home to a nursery that was as close to perfect as you can get. The walls were meticulously painted, the floors and furniture were sanitized, and the stuffed animals were arranged by height and color in a little wicker basket. Pottery Barn would have been jealous.

For a time, Adam and Eve lived happily in the garden...never needing or wanting anything other than what they already had.

For a time, we lived the same way. Jeremiah slept 18 hours a day, while friends and family members brought us heaping trays of lasagna, bagged salads and large pans of brownies. (Plus, the British Open was on that weekend, so I got to watch a lot of golf.)

Unfortunately, in both stories, this is where the tide starts to turn.

As the first humans to ever walk the planet, Adam and Eve's "eyes were opened" when they took a bite of the forbidden fruit.

As first time parents, our "eyes were opened" in a different sort of way. A few days of solid screaming and projectile poo-ing was all it took for us to realize that we had a long road ahead of us.

God, seeing that his creations needed guidance, set up a system of rules and restrictions to help protect them. Things like: don't steal, don't cheat, and don't kill.

Heather and I, seeing that our little creation needed guidance, set up a system of rules and restrictions to protect Jeremiah as well. Things like: don't scream, don't play with the stove, and don't hit your baby brother in the head with your dump truck.

You know, more than two years into this parenting adventure, I have to admit that there are plenty of days when I wonder what in the world we were thinking. Jeremiah whines...a lot. He screams when he wants something. He's stubborn and selfish. He specifically does what we tell him not to do. It can be maddening.

Yet, somehow, at the end of the day when I peek in my son's room to turn off the light...I don't care. I love that little guy more than anything. He's a part of me, and regardless of what he does or how he acts, I'm going to keep loving him. No questions asked. Tomorrow is a new day.

I'm guessing that God sometimes wonders what happened to his perfect creation too. I whine and scream in my own unique ways. I'm stubborn and selfish. I intentionally ignore God's direction sometimes. Yet, at the end of the day, my mistakes don't change God's opinion of me at all. He loves me more than anything. I was made in his image, and regardless of what I do or how I act, He promises to keep loving me. No questions asked.

And the same goes for you too.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Becoming a Maintenance Man

Most guys I know are what you might call "maintenance men". They change their own oil, sharpen their own lawn mower blades, and build their own sheds. They know how to adjust the gap on their spark plugs, attach the green wire when installing a ceiling fan, and light the pilot light on the hot water heater without blowing the house up.

I am not this kind of guy.

I have electrocuted myself while plugging in a dryer. I have melted jumper cables from attaching them the wrong way. I have flipped a riding lawn mower over backward after hitting a swing set. For awhile, my rule of thumb when it came to home ownership was, "When it's time to clean the gutters, it's time to sell the house".

I wish I could say I was kidding.

For some reason, I love getting new stuff...but I really stink at trying to keep it that way. Driving a new car off the lot is wonderful...but waxing it, rotating the tires and checking the fluids is mind-numbing to me. Buying a house is a thrill...but changing the furnace filter, weeding the flower beds and laying plastic in the crawl space is awful.

For years I laughed about my mechanical ineptness. And, for years, I got away with it. Whenever something I owned got to the point of breaking down, I would pay somebody else to fix it or simply buy a new one. But, recently, I've learned that my "maintenance issues" aren't limited to weed whackers and water heaters.

My life has been so full of "stuff", that I couldn't possibly maintain it all. Or any of it really. My boat was being neglected...and so were my boys. My work was suffering...and so was my wife. My rehab project on my office had stalled...and so had my relationship with Christ.

I had what I call a "perpetual puppy problem". You know - that burning desire kids get for a new dog, followed quickly (usually within three days) by the realization that dogs take work? That was me, but with more adult-sized stuff.

Will I ever be your typical maintenance man? No. My toolbox will likely contain just a hammer, screwdriver and roll of duct tape forever. However, when it comes to the things that money can't buy (my faith and my family), I've committed to setting aside the time and energy required to properly maintain those relationships and make them the #1 and #2 priorities in my life.

The rest I can sell...or accidentally blow up...whichever comes first.

Theology vs. Reality

My just-turned two year old, Jeremiah, loves animals. He has books about them, puzzles about them, and a complete over-abundance of stuffed animals shaped like them. He knows that a tiger roars, that a cat meows, and that a fish "glub-glubs". With the possible exception of his trucks, Jeremiah knows more about animals than about anything else in life right now.

Several times in the past few months, seeing our son's passion for all things furry and feathered, my wife and I have taken our beloved boy to see a variety of animals: cows, horses, pigs, goats, etc. And guess what? He's not such a big fan. Not a fan at all really. His favorite part of the trips? Eating graham crackers in the car on the way home.

As it turns out, REAL animals are much bigger and scarier than the ones in his books. They're much louder and smellier than his puzzles. And they're much less tolerant of him pulling their hair or drooling on their ears than his stuffed animals are.

Jeremiah's knowledge of animals didn't quite prepare him for the real thing.

Unfortunately, this reminds me of a lot of Christians. Including me sometimes. We know an awful lot about Jesus and about the Bible, but we incorrectly assume that our knowledge is enough.

Knowing that "God works all things together for good to those who love Him" is an important truth...but doesn't completely prepare you for a cancer diagnosis.

Knowing that "God never gives us more than we can handle" is comforting...but doesn't completely prepare you for losing your job.

Knowing that "God hates divorce" is critical...but doesn't completely prepare you for a cheating spouse.

Don't get me wrong, it is vital that we read, study and memorize God's word. It's powerful and gives us a strong foundation for whatever lies ahead in life. But, what our knowledge of the Bible DOESN"T do, is make life easy. And, too often, we pretend like it does.

In a world that is already VERY skeptical of Christians, I think it's critically important that we don't hand our our knowledge nearly as often as we hand out our love. ("And they'll know we are Christians by our love.") It's easy to regurgitate verses that we learned in Sunday School to a friend who's hurting, but how much more effective is it when we share our real-life experiences and stories of God's faithfulness?

When Jeremiah clung to my leg upon encountering his first, real cow...I "moo-ed" and said "cow" probably a hundred times. No luck. It wasn't until I took his hand and we walked up to the cow together that he began to feel better about the situation.

I don't know about you, but I'm challenging myself to WALK more people through their pain, rather than TALK them through it.

And, while we're walking, if all else fails, I'll bring graham crackers.

Why (Some) Christians Annoy Me

In an odd twist of fate last Thursday, two American entertainment icons breathed their last breath. Michael Jackson (50) and Farrah Fawcett (62). One was a "king". The other an "angel". One was played on millions of radios around the world. The other was taped to millions of bedroom walls. One was known for a glove. The other was known for a hairstyle.

For several mornings after their untimely deaths, we discussed the two situations on my radio show on Family-Friendly WBGL (www.wbgl.org). Once in a very factual, "news-y" fashion...and once as a lead in to ask the question, "who do you need to 'love on' today before it's too late".

While the response has been fairly positive, here is a sampling of the comments I have since received (via phone, email and Facebook) from our predominantly Christian audience:

"Why are you promoting a pedophile?"
"Our family almost turned off the radio. Talking about Michael Jackson is not family-friendly."
"I think it's sad that Farrah Fawcett isn't getting the recognition she deserves because a troubled man like Michael Jackson died."
"Michael Jackson reminds me of my secular days...why do we have to bring him up?"
"So a child molester died...who cares!"

Complaints for mentioning Michael Jackson - at least a dozen.

Complaints for mentioning Farrah Fawcett - zero.

Sure, Michael Jackson was weird. He had seemingly unhealthy relationships with children (though he was acquitted of molestation). He was likely addicted to plastic surgery and pain killers. He was a recluse and very insecure. He was bankrupt. He once dangled his young son over a balcony to show him off to the paparazzi below.

Apparently, those things are worthy of stone-throwing.

Excuse me, and correct me if I'm wrong, but Farrah Fawcett wasn't exactly the epitome of morality either. She got divorced. She then lived with a man who wasn't her husband for years. She had a baby out of wedlock. She's most famous for a picture of her in a semi-revealing red bathing suit. She posed for Playboy - twice.

Rocks? What rocks?

To be perfectly honest, I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed by the arbitrary lines that Christians draw. I'm annoyed that some of us make ourselves feel better by ostracizing others. I'm annoyed that we pay far more attention to the "plank-sized" problems of others, rather than the "speck-sized" problems in our own lives. I'm annoyed that the world pays very close attention as we randomly choose who is worthy and who isn't. I'm annoyed that much of the world has no problem with Christ...but a big problem with Christians.

But, I'm not surprised. And, frankly, that annoys me too.

In the Bible, when a woman caught in adultery was brought before Jesus, many of the religious leaders wanted to stone her. But, in John 8:7, Jesus said, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone."

The only perfect man to ever walk the planet didn't even condemn this woman. Instead he told her, "go now and leave your life of sin". What an example!

I'm not asking anyone to embrace Michael Jackson's lifestyle or music, but I am suggesting that the mere mention of his name and accomplishments is not inherently evil. No, Michael wasn't perfect. Neither was Farrah. And neither am I...and neither are you.

If it's not "Christian" to talk on the radio about people who have fallen short of God's perfect plan, then I should probably find a new line of work. And I should probably duck.

You Get What You Pay For

Imagine for a moment that you own an oil change franchise. The "higher-ups" call a meeting one day and ask you to dramatically lower your prices. Gulp. What do you do?

Well, in business, there are six major ways that you can effectively cut the costs of your product or service:

1. Have your employees do more work in the same amount of time
2. Have your employees do the same amount of work, but with fewer of them
3. Hire cheaper, less-experienced employees or cut the pay of the employees you currently have
4. Use cheaper products
5. Spend less on new equipment and maintenance
6. Spend less on customer perks like magazines, soft chairs and hot coffee in the waiting area

Combine several of the above options, and you'll be able to pass along a somewhat noticeable drop in price to your customers. But, by then, is it a product or service that your customers actually want?

Now, check this out...

I've pasted the text from above immediately below this paragraph...simply switching out the words "oil change franchise" with "hospital", "employees" with "doctors" and "customers" with "patients". See what you think...

Imagine for a moment that you own a hospital. The "higher-ups" call a meeting one day and ask you to dramatically lower your prices. Gulp. What do you do?

Well, in business, there are six major ways that you can effectively cut the costs of your product or service:

1. Have your doctors do more work in the same amount of time
2. Have your doctors do the same amount of work, but with fewer of them
3. Hire cheaper, less-experienced doctors or cut the pay of the doctors you currently have
4. Use cheaper products
5. Spend less on new equipment and maintenance
6. Spend less on patient perks like magazines, soft chairs and hot coffee in the waiting area

Combine several of the above options, and you'll be able to pass along a somewhat noticeable drop in price to your patients. But, by then, is it a product or service that your patients actually want?

In a nutshell, this is what Washington is asking the medical community to do - cut costs in whatever ways they can in order to make health care less expensive. But cheap health care is dangerous health care. Cheap health care is also slow health care.

I don't know about you, but personally, the last thing I want to do to my cardiologist or neurosurgeon is stress him out, pay him less, and give him fewer tools to work with.

However, on the bright side, before you have to see this overworked, underpaid professional, you'll get to wait for a few hours in an uncomfortable chair with nothing to read or drink.

I think I'm starting to feel sick already.

882nd in the World

I'm sitting here on Father's Day, watching the rain-delayed third round of the U.S. Open Golf Championship.  The original idea was to relax and enjoy a lazy Sunday afternoon while my wife and two boys were at the in-laws.  But a few minutes ago, through heavy eyelids, I saw a startling chart on the screen.  A chart that followed the last decade's worth of David Duval's PGA career.

In 1999, David was the #1 ranked golfer in the world.  He had just won the British Open, and was (obviously) at the top of his game.   And then, with remarkable speed, the bottom dropped out.

David got a little lazy with his practice schedule, and fell from the top spot.  Then he developed a nagging injury, and descended even further.  A few bad habits followed, and soon #1 wasn't even within shouting distance.  Now, ten years later, Duval is a jaw-dropping 882nd in the world.

Essentially, that puts him closer in rank to me than to Tiger Woods.

Now, with the golf tournament in the background, I'm wide awake.  It seems that David Duval's plight has me wondering.  America has been (and still is) the best country on earth.  But I'm not so sure that we won't see the same results as Mr. Duval if we're not careful.  We've gotten a little lazy morally.  We've been hurt economically.  We've developed some bad habits financially.  At this rate, it may not even take ten years to fall from grace.

But, with this being Father's Day, the story of David Duval has me taking stock personally more than politically.  As a husband, father, and man of faith, have I let laziness, past hurts or bad habits get in the way of being the best I can be?  Have you?  Unfortunately, the answer is probably yes.

There's good news though.

As the U.S. Open continues, the 882nd ranked player in the world is tied for 3rd with 18 holes to play.  David Duval has turned things around.  And with the right amount of focus, determination and hard work, there's no doubt in my mind that the rest of us can too.